We all had this Monday that never seems to come. Or some of us still have it. Let me bring it to you simply. You need to do sports fatass! Special for you are the next easy peasy lemon squeezy life hacks.


            Start off with standing up from the couch/bed (yeah, fun joke, right). But seriously, never start running from a run. You should always start with a walk and a warm up. That poor body of yours won’t be able to cope with such huge amounts of stress and we sure are hoping that you’ll live a long and happy life. That’s why, start slow. It’s fucking enough for a start to walk 30-40 minutes a day. After a couple of weeks you can start jogging your ass out. 

            Don’t try to run faster on a long run. You’ll just lose your breath, which is quite fucked up anyway. Usually people try to make as long jumps as they can while running and think that this helps them run faster. It’s a delusion and a big mistake. Before you learn to run faster, you need to remember the main thing: the shorter the duration of the flight phases, the faster you can run.

            When you start running, remember that feet on the track need to be lowered very quickly. In this case, you should try to move with maximum springiness and softness. This makes it easier to push off.

            If you decide to make some leg days in the gym  pay attention to the complexes for the development of strength and endurance, and not volume or relief. Particularly useful exercises for the strength of the biceps and quadriceps legs.

            Buy running shoes. They really help. Don’t run in fucking converse. And last but certainly not least. Run in an environmentally nice place. Please don’t be from these fucked up losers who run beside the side way. You can just go smoke a couple of cigars and have the same result. 

            Just go already. The weather is perfect, but your ars isnt. 

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